The lunch time patrons at the bar turn at the sound of a tankard being slammed down on a table and see two Halflings engaged in a lively conversation. One in particular is very animated.

¨Bloody ungrateful Humans! They pull some stupid ass move and then pay the price. Then you spend hours of your time, and use expensive and difficult to obtain herbs, to work small miracles to put them back together after they get more holes in them than some rotten old tree, and do they thank you? You’re more likely to get thanks from a dragon for stealing its treasure hoard! Of all my travelling companions, only Tanis has ever taken the time to thank me for helping to put him back together. Even the patients I’ve treated recently in Altdorf take the time to express their thanks, and they have to pay for the treatment.

¨I do like Tanis, although he sometimes seems a bit distant, as though his mind took the left fork of the path when we went right. Also, he rarely seems to get excited about anything and, unlike just about everyone else I know, he doesn’t seem to care much about money. I’ve heard tell that all Elves are like that though, and as Tanis is the only Elf I’ve spent much time with, I suppose I shouldn’t judge. He often doesn’t seem to know how to have fun, or appreciate my sense of humour, but he did invite me out for a meal the other night, with an Elven friend of his who goes hunting or something like that. We went to the poshest restaurant I’ve ever been to. The food and wine was great, but still not as good as my Mum’s home cooking.

¨As for the rest of the party...

¨There’s that ungrateful charlatan the wizard. Sooner or later he’ll either get himself killed by his own dumb actions or by another member of the party. Of course it wouldn’t be the thief. He and Wiz get on like a house on fire. (Just as well really when you think about how many they’ve managed to burn down between them.) Sometimes though, they do seem to be just a little too close to each other, and I do start wondering...

¨Now the thief... Well he calls himself a thief, although he doesn’t so much steal for a career, he just seems to do it from time to time ’cause he feels he has to. I’ve heard him mumbling about buying a house. And I can’t help but ponder whether this means him and Wiz are going to shack up together.

¨And then there’s Kurt, the Dwarf. Talk about a persecution complex. He seems to think that everyone is always out to get him, including some higher power he always goes on about. I think he called it Je’em. Must be a Dwarven god or something. Mind you, with the way he is always hanging around looking for trouble, and with the actions he takes by himself outside of the group, his paranoia is probably well founded.

¨The soldier used to be alright, but lately I’ve begun to wonder. We used to get on really well, but recently it’s almost as if he’s a different person. I’ll reserve judgement and just wait and see. It may be just a phase he’s going through. He seemed to handle himself alright in that last fight with the beastmen, and he came out pretty much unhurt, unlike Tanis and Wiz. Tanis really doesn’t seem to get on with beastmen. First he lost a eye in the fight back on the boat, and after this latest scrap, well, he just seems to have lost some of his edge. Wiz, on the other hand, was just plain stupid and got well and truly riddled by the outlaws, turned rescuers, turned outlaws again thanks to his actions. It’s a shame he didn’t accidentally fireball himself as he went down. That would have been great. Instant spit roast!

¨Oh, my plans for the future. Well for the next few weeks at least I’ll be here in Altdorf, putting back together those people who do themselves a mischief during the festivities. Beyond that I don’t know for sure what I’ll do. I’ve talked to Tanis about it, and we’re thinking about going to catch up with the others after they get back from their trip up the Barren Hill. In the next couple of days we’ll probably get together and make a decision about what we’re both going to do. Then send a letter with a boat going up the river so it’s with Hans Gruber in Grünburg ready for their return.

¨I think that I’ll hang around with the group at least in the short term, as I get to travel around to places that I wouldn’t normally go. There’s always the possibility that I may discover a new herb to aid the treatment of the sick, produce a new and interesting poison, or even to become a new addition to the herb rack in my Mum’s kitchen. I hear stories from time to time about amazing distant places, said to be to the South of the Empire and West across the sea. I think I would like to visit them given the opportunity. I reckon that my desire to explore comes from my cousin Tasslehoff. You might have heard of him, Tasslehoff Burrfoot. He’s quite famous in some parts for the travelling and adventuring he did. You might also have heard of his Uncle Trapspringer. No, you’ve not heard of them. You must remind me to tell you about them sometime.

¨Sorry, my mind's wandering again. Yes, back to the future. I haven’t given much thought to longer term plans. I’ve thought about setting up a surgery of my own either in one of the major towns of the Empire or back home in The Moot. Or, perhaps I may become a travelling doctor. That way I may still get the chance to explore a bit and visit some of the friends I’ve made on my travels.

¨Anyway, must dash. Nice talking to you, but I’ve got to be back at the surgery by two. I’ll meet you in here for lunch again tomorrow, OK. Farewell till then.¨

There's the sound of a chair sliding backwards across the wooden floor, the patter of big hairy feet, followed by the sound of the door being opened and closed, as the loudest of the two Halflings leaves the inn.

This page © Greg Aldridge, 10 February 2001